Lacie

Time and time again I have been talking with my girlfriends and this particular question always comes up.. “Why can’t we let go of our past”? Of course as women we all think we have the world figured out and the answers to everything. But have you ever really sat and wondered why we can’t let the past go?

We have all experienced a bad break up. You fight, you breakup, you reconcile, you get back together, and guess what the cycle starts over. But why do we keep fighting to stay in the past? Why can’t we close that chapter of our lives and start a new one? Reliving the past is like putting on yesterday’s dirty underwear again today.

For a year I lived in the past. I couldn’t let it go. I wanted what I used to have but I also wanted what was to come. I would keep dwelling on it and hang on to that little hope that things were going to change. But I quickly learned, people do not change… they alter. Getting over a painful experience is like the monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move on.(C.S. Lewis) This quote is so true. If you don’t let go of the one you are currently hanging from, you will never make any progress.

You know why it’s so hard for us to be happy? It’s because we refuse to let go of what makes us sad. You see your old boyfriend with someone new and you hold on to what you used to have. But did you ever stop and think, if he was worth keeping you would still have him? You didn’t make the team and hold a grudge against a friend who did, but did you condition hard enough to make it? We hold on to so many bad things in the past that we are missing what God has waiting for us ahead.

Gossip is the best form of clinging to the past. We spend so much time worrying about what someone did yesterday or who is dating who or who did this to that, instead we should look to tomorrow. Every second becomes the past. You can’t change it. You can’t relive it. You have to watch it become apart of your past and added to yesterday’s chapter in the book we call “Life”.

Many people think that holding on is a sign of strength. In my opinion being strong and brave enough to let go shows much more strength. Life is so sacred and we waste so much of it trying to control situations in the past that we can’t change. Eventually we have to wake up a realize that nothing can become what it needs to be until we are willing to let go of what used to be. The best thing about the past is that is shows what we don’t want to bring to our future.

I used to think my life was right where it was supposed to be. Until one day, God came in and flipped my life upside down. Here I am a husband, a house, a new state, gained a new family, and my walk with Christ is stronger than it has ever been.  But I would have missed all of God’s blessing if I would have kept clinging to the past.

When the past call. Let it go to voicemail. It has nothing new to say.

Yes my husband still opens the door for me. It’s not weird; it’s his little way of showing me how important I am to him. I have seen many marriages fail in my lifetime. Divorce is one of the most heart wrenching experiences for anyone to experience. Marriage is a sacred bond between three people: God, the husband, and the wife. These three people are the only people that should ever be a part of a marriage. When you start adding or subtracting; marriages begin to weaken.

A year ago, I was on a plane home when God put Nick in the seat next to me. A month later we began dating and here we are a year and a half later: married, home owners, pet parents, and still dating. We started dating and never stopped. Nick is the definition of a loving, faithful, Godly husband. I could not have molded a man better to spend the rest of my life with. Yes we have only been married three months, but since June 28 we vowed to never stop dating.

Growing with your husband is one of the benefits God gives to you as a wife. Your husband is your soul mate, confidant, friend, and rock; he is not just your roommate. Many people have told me “marriage is pointless, it never last anyways” or “once the honeymoon stage is over its back to reality”. Every time I hear someone say these, my heart breaks. I never want my husband to feel this way. Nick and I are truly best friends. We laugh together, we cry together, but most of all we grow together as a couple.

We are in this marriage together. Nothing is separate. We promised each other we would always keep the “spark” alive. I can honestly sit here and say after a year, I still get butterflies when he walks in the room, his smile melts my heart, and I love him more today than I did yesterday, but less than I will tomorrow. Almost on a daily basis I get asked “how do you make your marriage work being 13 hours apart”? There is one simple answer. I never stopped dating my husband.

We are that couple that makes people sick in the grocery store, because we hold hands and are giggly. Am I ashamed? Absolutely not! I married my husband to date him. On June 28, 2014, I became his legal girlfriend for the rest of my life. No one else gets to date my husband. We hold hands riding in the car, when we hike, when we are on the couch watching TV, shopping.. Every chance I get, I hold my husband’s hand. There is something in this little action that bonds us two together.

Before we got engaged we made a “date jar”. We thought up several different date night ideas, typed them on a piece of paper, folded them, and put them in the jar. Whenever we couldn’t think of something to do, we would pull a “date idea” out of the jar. Not all dates were extravagant, because we love movie dates at home. This jar gives great ideas, that we thought of together, to do as a couple and every time we do one of those ideas it reminds us of when we really were dating.

Dating my husband makes me fall more in love with him every day. I send sappy love cards to him and he sends me flowers every three-four weeks, just to remind one another how lucky, blessed, and thankful we are for each other. He opens the door and kisses me in public, but never worries about who sees or what anyone thinks because in his eyes I am the only one that matters. People never believe me or want to understand why dating your spouse is so important. The reasoning for this disbelief is that I have only been married three months, but my marriage is strong and exciting because we never stopped dating.

Every relationship is unique in its own way. I am no marriage counselor, but marriages are not just a name change and a piece of paper, it is a gift from God. Never take your marriage for granted. Some are not fortunate enough to experience it. Marriage is work but being with your husband for the rest of your life is worth every minute.

Why do we consume so much of our life worrying about what others are doing?  The answer to this: We are HUMANS! People are so caught up in other’s lives because of one simple reason, misery. Sadly, misery loves company. Some live their lives vicariously by being a burden or bringing someone else down. They usually do this with the intent to build their own self up. But newsflash, it deepens the issue and makes the situation worse. We (yes, including me) are all guilty. Whether we want to be or not, we are guilty. We stay concerned with who is dating who, who said this, who wore this, who did this or that, but why? Why does it matter? Misery and it loves company.

We all want perfect lives. We want the best cars, houses, clothes, husbands, children, and the list goes on, but if we aren’t truly happy with whom we are, none of these “things “will satisfy us. Have you ever stopped and wondered who you really are? Stop right now and ask yourself, “Who am I”? Not your name or age, but deep down in your heart and soul, who are you? The answer to this question can be very difficult if you are stuck in the “gray area” of life. In order to be truly happy and content in your life, you have to understand and accept who you truly are.

You ask, “How do I figure out who I am”? It took me twenty five years to figure out who I am, and some days I still am not sure. Over the past few years I have endured what we as Christians call “trials.” Trials are classified as, “hardships” or”sufferings”, which Christians endure. Trust me; I have had my fair share. I have endured death, divorce, breakups, betray, and family conflict. Many times I wanted to give up, but right before hitting rock bottom, God took my hand and lead me down a different path. None of us are perfect, but changing my life is how I figured out who I am. I am a woman of God, a wife, strong, faithful, diligent, but most of all content.

Misery can physically, mentally and emotionally tear you down. Most misery comes from a “trial” or “hardship” we don’t know how to face. But the reason we can’t control these all comes down to confusion about who we are or what we believe. We can’t control the weather, other people’s relationships, family turning their back on you, or the economy crashing. However, we can control how we react. When you have a miserable person in your life don’t confront them, pray for them. Don’t accompany the source that breaks down most relationships and people.

Miserable people love others as company. The reason for this has to do with making their self feel better. They attack, lash out, are hateful, and disrespectful because it helps them release anger and frustration. In cases such as these, wash your hands clean of them. We have enough negativity in the world; ISIS, war, divorce, murder, suicide, we don’t need to feed any more of it.

Each and every one of us is given twenty four hours. Twenty-four. That’s not a lot.  Why would any of us want to spend it being miserable or being company to someone else’s misery? Choose to live fully the twenty- four hours you are given. Because the only thing in life that will run out, is time.

The Lord is king! He is robed in majesty. Indeed, the Lord is robed in majesty and armed with strength. The world stands firm and cannot be shaken. Psalm 93:1.