Once you control your mind, you can control your body.

Cry as hard as you want. But make sure that when you stop crying, you never cry for the same reason again. Life can be so difficult, relationships can be challenging, jobs can bring us down, but why do we let it control who we are? Only we have the ability to control our minds and bodies. Through my reading this week I found some advice about people who are mentally strong.

They move on. People who move on do not waste time feeling sorry for themselves or trying to convince others to feel sorry for them.They stay happy. There is no time to complain or worry about situations that can’t be changed. They stay positive. People who have control of their mind and body continuously stay positive because there is not enough room in our lives to be negative and positive.

There are two things that prevent us from happiness and having control over our minds; living in the past and observing others. We have to train our brains and learn to be happy with who we are and what we have. The world was not meant for everyone to be exactly the same and have the exact same things. Besides, who wants to live in a world like that anyways?

Our choices in life should reflect our hopes and dreams not our fears. Sometimes we let the little people sitting on our shoulders control what we think. We have to learn to make firm decisions on our own and not let a little voice inside our head or someone else determine our destiny.

We have to constantly remind ourselves that we have control of our lives and destiny. The worst thing we can do is lose sight of who we are and what we deserve. Every choice we make in life becomes a chapter in our life book, we just have to make good choices and never re-read an old chapter. Start today and take control of your life and make sure you invest your time on bettering yourself and others around you. Every positive change in your life begins with a clear decision that you are going to either do something or stop doing something. The choice is yours.

When you go through deep waters. I will be with you. Isaiah 43:2

The Year Is Yours. What Will You Do With It?

Today I close the door to the past, open the door to the future, take a deep breath and step on through to start the next chapter in my life. My life has been so full of blessings this year. I met the man of my dreams a year ago, married him in June, graduated college with my second degree and today I am moving to Michigan.

Life is what we make it. You can either wake up every morning and be thankful you are alive or you can wake up every morning with a bad attitude. I always am grateful for the next day I am given. How many times do we take small things for granted such as waking up every morning? If we were thankful for the little things just as we are the big things we could all live a much happier life.

Over the past six months I have been sick. Well really sick. I didn’t understand why I was going through the pain and sickness I have had. I was worried because I have been to doctor after doctor with no results. But after six long months, this past week I was finally diagnosed with Lupus. Although I was heartbroken and upset about this diagnosis, I realize God put me in this situation to see my reaction and to make it apart of my story. Yes I could be upset and use this as an excuse to be bitter, but I choose to start treatment and medication and continue to live my life thankful.

Everyone faces trials and tribulations. But your reaction is what determines the outcome. Worrying won’t stop the bad stuff from happening it just stops you from enjoying the good. We are all going to have good days and bad, but look for the good in everyday more than the bad. I’ve learned more from pain than I could’ve ever learned from pleasure.

Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one. I hope each and everyone of you had a fantastic 2014. But I hope for a better 2015.

Happy New Year!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5


I’d rather be a Proverbs 31 Woman than a Victoria’s Secret Model.

I think that, now more than ever the younger generation needs good positive role models. My parents always said, “You are the books you read and the people you surround yourself with”. How true is this statement?

I have always had women in my life that I classify as my role models. But I never thought I would be considered a “role model” to someone else nor have someone younger that looks up to me for guidance. Over the past few years a new light has shined on my life and I have been shown that every move I make is being watched. I never realized how big of an impact one person can make on the people who are watching them.

Being involved in community service and pageants, I was taught to take leadership in everything I do. I have been told to be an effective leader, be a good example, and to be the person you want your children to look up to. Little did I know that one day I would have so many children and young women who would call me their own role model.

I have become a role model without even trying or auditioning for the part. I was placed as a role model without a choice. Although this role is a big one to fill, I have learned from every experience and road it has taken me down.  I would like to be called an inspiration to others not a role model. Because I make mistakes like everybody else.

There are so many people who I classify as role models for my life. When I stop and think what part they actually play in my life it comes down to: inspiration.

The best way for us as adults to be role models to the younger generation is to model the type of person we want them to be. You can’t make someone be who you want them to be, you can only teach them how to be the person you want them to be. The saying about role models goes a long with the saying “you can a take a cow to the pond, but you can’t make it drink the water.” Same thing with people, you can teach them how to be a better person but you can’t make them act better.

Every move you make, someone is watching. Make sure you are a shining light and an inspiration. You never know the impact you can make or are making on someone.

No leader became great because of power. They became great because of how much they empowered others. – Anonymous


Great Things Never Came From “Comfort Zones”.

Making a big life change is scary. But, know what’s even scarier? Regret. In 28 days I will move 14 hours away from everything I have ever known. I will leave behind my family, friends, co-workers, church family, and routines. I have a comfort zone in Valdosta that I am about to step outside of. I am moving where I know nothing. Michigan is a great state I have enjoyed my visits and soon I will call it home. I couldn’t tell you the next town over from where I will be living and I couldn’t even tell you the capital of Michigan. But why does that matter? I am taking a leap of faith to be with my husband.

Sometimes I sit and wonder what it will be like to start completely over. To have my own house, a new job, new friends, snow, and new routines. Sometimes I get teary eyed at the thought I will leave everything behind to start this new adventure. But then I quickly realize God already knows the path I am headed down. He knows what my life will be like in Michigan. Why do I second guess that at times?  “Comfort zone”. I have a comfort zone where I am at currently. I know my daily routines, gym workout, friends, family, and school. On December 31, 2014 I will make one of the biggest decisions in my life. I will pack 26 years worth of memories in my car and drive away in the direction of my new life.

A year ago Nick and I closed chapters in our lives of relationships that we have been in for quite some time. God placed Nick and I in each other’s paths for a reason. He wanted to show us what life was like to live outside of our “comfort zone”. To this day our relationship is far from a “comfort zone”. It is exciting, adventurous, and a constant thrill of love and laughter.

If we were meant to stay in one place, we’d have roots instead of feet. We have the option to not live in a comfort zone. But many of us get comfortable and are scared to take a leap of faith. You can’t start the next chapter in your life if your keep re-reading the last. The future is scary. But we can’t just run back to the past because it’s familiar or comfortable. We have to be willing to take risk, even if we fall.  If I told you ten years from now your life would be exactly the same, would you be happy? Would you still be afraid of change? Would you leave your comfort zone for a different path?

Once you have realized it’s time for a change all the negativity will flee. The uneasy feelings you have will go away. The anxiety will vanish. You know you have made the right decision when there is peace in your heart. I am so thankful I have peace about the path God has chosen for me. December 31, 2014…. I am ready for you.

Remember how far you have come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be. –Rick Warren

Battles of Negativity

We all get caught up in the cloud of life. Everyone goes through obstacles and experience unfortunate situations. But have you ever experienced that one person who is negative all the time? I like to call them “fun suckers”. Nothing is ever good enough, fun enough, or big enough for them. No matter how good life is or that everything is going their way, they are negative. Facing things in life is God’s way of testing your reaction. I have always said God gives His biggest battles to His toughest angels.”

When Nick and I got engaged we decided December 13, 2014 would be our wedding date. I was ecstatic to start planning and have a “winter wonderland” wedding. I was going to have the wedding of my dreams, the guest list was well over 400 people, I had the perfect man, and everything was going my way. In February the distance from Nick really started to get to me. I was planning a wedding, working, and going to school thirteen and half hours away from Nick. The stress really started to weigh on me and I became very negative. I couldn’t find the right dress. I didn’t like my hair. I didn’t like any cakes that went with my theme. Nothing, I didn’t like anything. That’s when Nick decided we should consider moving the wedding up. After extensive discussion we decided to move it to June 28, 2014. I was in a panic. How in the world would I plan the dream wedding I wanted in four months? In my mind it was impossible.

One day I was in conversation with a lady (I won’t mention her name) and was discussing my stress and telling her there was no way I could do it. I would have to settle for less than what I wanted on my wedding day. She turned to me and said “Lacie, a wedding is not about the show. It’s not about the guest list. It’s not about how much money you spend. It is about realizing at the end of the day you will be Nick’s wife.” Wow those words hit me like a ton of bricks. How could I be so negative about something God had blessed me with? God put Nick in my life for a reason. God knew our wedding would be in June and it would turn out better than I ever dreamed or prayed for.

Being negative can consume you. It can turn you into someone you never thought you would be. After realizing how negative I was being, I really stopped and evaluated everything in my life that I was thankful for and blessed to have. Nothing in life is ever worth being negative over.

Does your behavior and attitude reflect Christ? Being negative is not a direct reflection of Christ and the way He wants us to walk and live. Negativity chains us down and we have to learn to break free. To be thankful for all God has done for us and remember it is just a battle and God is our protector.

The Beauty Queen and The Abuser

Women who compete in pageants are often times held to different standards. By this I mean most are considered role models. The way they dress, fix their hair, speak, and relationships. I am a huge advocate for abuse in relationships. No woman or man should have to be put through any kind of abuse; emotional or physical. Throughout my pageant career I have had the opportunity to meet several new friends. Many I will keep for a life time. Recently I had a very close friend of mine come to me and ask if I would share her story. I had no idea what this beautiful woman was going through. On the outside (to me at least) she was headstrong, carried herself well and gorgeous. But little did I know the emotions she was carrying around on the inside. When I met her at Miss Georgia USA, I would have never in million years thought she would be in an abusive relationship. What man would want to abuse someone that precious?

For her privacy I will use different names to tell her story. She asked me to share it to help other women know you can get out and signs to look for.

About a year ago Annie met Jake. To her knowledge, based on friends and people who knew him, Jake was a great guy. At the time they met Annie was in a relationship but about six months later her and Jake reconnected, moved in together and starting dating without realizing it.

One night, after they started dating, Jake wanted to surprise Annie by taking her to one of her favorite places in town. After their surprise date Annie wanted to meet up with some friends who were in town, and being like any girl, gave Jake her wallet, cell phone, and credit card, to keep from having to carry a purse. After all they would be there together and leave together. After searching for him in 3 places, she comes to realize he had left her, later claiming she was “flirting with other men.” Thankfully she had friends there or she would have been stranded.

After an argument and Jake promising he wouldn’t do it again, Annie forgave him and rocked on for another three weeks. But just like most abusive relationships they had another explosion. Only this time Jake called Annie names that are very degrading to a woman. Once again she gathers her things to leave only to be persuaded back in with an “I’m Sorry.”

Strike three happens at a beach wedding for one of Annie’s friends. Where Jake gets extremely intoxicated and again verbally abuses Annie and gets in her face to the point the groom has to pull him away from her.

A few more explosions happen and Jake finally throws at Annie that “God was telling him to drink and verbally abuse her.” Annie and Jakes religious views were out of line with one another.

Annie like so many women faces abuse every day. But where do we draw the line? When do we decide we deserve better? Are we scared to leave? Do we think this is the norm? Women deserve so much more respect than abuse from a significant other. Never think that what you have to offer is insignificant. There will always be someone out there that needs what you have to give. Men who abuse women do not deserve to be called men.

Remember just because someone is pretty, successful, sweet, smart, or funny doesn’t mean they aren’t fighting a battle on the inside no one knows about. Be strong in who you are and don’t accept abuse. Everyone deserves to be respected not abused.

Here are signs of a potentially abusive personality:
• Lose their temper quickly?
• Blame others for their problems?
• Get angry if you don’t take their advice?
• Get jealous and suspicious of your friends?
• Accuse you of lying about where you are or what you are doing?
• Want them with you all the time?
• Always know where you are and who you are with?


One friend can change your whole life

Recently I came across this quote “Everybody isn’t your friend. Just because they hang around you and laugh with you doesn’t mean they’re for you. Just because they say they have your back, doesn’t mean they won’t stab you in it. People pretend well. Jealously sometimes doesn’t live far. So know your circle. At the end of the day, real situations expose fake people, so pay attention.”(Anonymous)  As I sat there, reading this quote, over and over it reminded me so much of certain situations I have personally lived through in my life.

Women are very jealous of each other. We envy each other so bad and unfortunately all of us are guilty. We hang out with a certain circle because we want a certain status, dress a certain way to gain a certain reputation, or simply buy things we cannot afford to keep up with our “friends”. Why do we do this? The answer; everybody isn’t your friend. True friends don’t care about your status, reputation, or clothes.

There are three types of friends: the old friend, the older friend, and the secondhand friend.  I am lucky to have all three. True friendships are few and far between. When you find a true friend everything clicks. You get each other and your circle becomes true. I am very blessed to not only be able to say I have all three types of friends but we all are best friends.

Meg is my old friend. No matter where life takes us we will always have a special bond. She is the little sister I never had. We can sit hours upon hours and solve the world’s problems or we can go two weeks without seeing each other and pick up right where we left off. She always looks to me for advice and I love being her crying shoulder.

Brooke is my older friend. There are no words good enough to describe our friendship. From the moment we made eye contact in microbiology, we knew we would be best friends forever. There has never been a day or a time that I have needed Brooke that she hasn’t been there. No matter what she always picks me up when I am down and has helped me through countless experience. We will be the 90 year old women still laughing until we cry in our wheelchairs in the nursing home.

Kelli is my secondhand friend. I am so thankful to have met her through Brooke. She makes me want to be a better woman. She is always there to tell me I am ok and help figure life out. She helps me understand what true friendships are about. Through bad breakups, crying spells, growing in faith, or just needing someone to talk to she has always been there.

These three women are the epitome of best friends. Our circle is complete and we are content. We call it our circle because it is round and has no end. We never try to compete with each other. We always have each other’s back. But most of all we are there for each other. Through running mascara, bad hair days, heels breaking, breakups, confusing boys, lousy jobs, new careers, new marriages, new relationships, road-trips, love sprinkles, eating too many calories, laughing until we cry, and wasted money we are truly best friends and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Friends come and go but best friends are there for a life time. This is so true especially when it come to hard times. Hard times will always reveal true friends. Meg, Brooke Kelli, and I have all been through a lot together. They have helped me live life and understand the meaning of friendships that can’t be broken. I have lost friends but life is too short to spend it with people who try to bring you down or compete with you. When a true friendship is real, it is effortless. With that said I have learned that sometimes you have to let people go. Some people will be in your life forever… and some won’t.

So here’s to the crap we talk, the guys we stalk, the way we shop, laughs we can’t stop, the gossip we spill, the looks that could kill. We’ll stay together. Because we are best friends forever.


If the past calls…

Time and time again I have been talking with my girlfriends and this particular question always comes up.. “Why can’t we let go of our past”? Of course as women we all think we have the world figured out and the answers to everything. But have you ever really sat and wondered why we can’t let the past go?

We have all experienced a bad break up. You fight, you breakup, you reconcile, you get back together, and guess what the cycle starts over. But why do we keep fighting to stay in the past? Why can’t we close that chapter of our lives and start a new one? Reliving the past is like putting on yesterday’s dirty underwear again today.

For a year I lived in the past. I couldn’t let it go. I wanted what I used to have but I also wanted what was to come. I would keep dwelling on it and hang on to that little hope that things were going to change. But I quickly learned, people do not change… they alter. Getting over a painful experience is like the monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move on.(C.S. Lewis) This quote is so true. If you don’t let go of the one you are currently hanging from, you will never make any progress.

You know why it’s so hard for us to be happy? It’s because we refuse to let go of what makes us sad. You see your old boyfriend with someone new and you hold on to what you used to have. But did you ever stop and think, if he was worth keeping you would still have him? You didn’t make the team and hold a grudge against a friend who did, but did you condition hard enough to make it? We hold on to so many bad things in the past that we are missing what God has waiting for us ahead.

Gossip is the best form of clinging to the past. We spend so much time worrying about what someone did yesterday or who is dating who or who did this to that, instead we should look to tomorrow. Every second becomes the past. You can’t change it. You can’t relive it. You have to watch it become apart of your past and added to yesterday’s chapter in the book we call “Life”.

Many people think that holding on is a sign of strength. In my opinion being strong and brave enough to let go shows much more strength. Life is so sacred and we waste so much of it trying to control situations in the past that we can’t change. Eventually we have to wake up a realize that nothing can become what it needs to be until we are willing to let go of what used to be. The best thing about the past is that is shows what we don’t want to bring to our future.

I used to think my life was right where it was supposed to be. Until one day, God came in and flipped my life upside down. Here I am a husband, a house, a new state, gained a new family, and my walk with Christ is stronger than it has ever been.  But I would have missed all of God’s blessing if I would have kept clinging to the past.

When the past call. Let it go to voicemail. It has nothing new to say.


Dating my Husband.

Yes my husband still opens the door for me. It’s not weird; it’s his little way of showing me how important I am to him. I have seen many marriages fail in my lifetime. Divorce is one of the most heart wrenching experiences for anyone to experience. Marriage is a sacred bond between three people: God, the husband, and the wife. These three people are the only people that should ever be a part of a marriage. When you start adding or subtracting; marriages begin to weaken.

A year ago, I was on a plane home when God put Nick in the seat next to me. A month later we began dating and here we are a year and a half later: married, home owners, pet parents, and still dating. We started dating and never stopped. Nick is the definition of a loving, faithful, Godly husband. I could not have molded a man better to spend the rest of my life with. Yes we have only been married three months, but since June 28 we vowed to never stop dating.

Growing with your husband is one of the benefits God gives to you as a wife. Your husband is your soul mate, confidant, friend, and rock; he is not just your roommate. Many people have told me “marriage is pointless, it never last anyways” or “once the honeymoon stage is over its back to reality”. Every time I hear someone say these, my heart breaks. I never want my husband to feel this way. Nick and I are truly best friends. We laugh together, we cry together, but most of all we grow together as a couple.

We are in this marriage together. Nothing is separate. We promised each other we would always keep the “spark” alive. I can honestly sit here and say after a year, I still get butterflies when he walks in the room, his smile melts my heart, and I love him more today than I did yesterday, but less than I will tomorrow. Almost on a daily basis I get asked “how do you make your marriage work being 13 hours apart”? There is one simple answer. I never stopped dating my husband.

We are that couple that makes people sick in the grocery store, because we hold hands and are giggly. Am I ashamed? Absolutely not! I married my husband to date him. On June 28, 2014, I became his legal girlfriend for the rest of my life. No one else gets to date my husband. We hold hands riding in the car, when we hike, when we are on the couch watching TV, shopping.. Every chance I get, I hold my husband’s hand. There is something in this little action that bonds us two together.

Before we got engaged we made a “date jar”. We thought up several different date night ideas, typed them on a piece of paper, folded them, and put them in the jar. Whenever we couldn’t think of something to do, we would pull a “date idea” out of the jar. Not all dates were extravagant, because we love movie dates at home. This jar gives great ideas, that we thought of together, to do as a couple and every time we do one of those ideas it reminds us of when we really were dating.

Dating my husband makes me fall more in love with him every day. I send sappy love cards to him and he sends me flowers every three-four weeks, just to remind one another how lucky, blessed, and thankful we are for each other. He opens the door and kisses me in public, but never worries about who sees or what anyone thinks because in his eyes I am the only one that matters. People never believe me or want to understand why dating your spouse is so important. The reasoning for this disbelief is that I have only been married three months, but my marriage is strong and exciting because we never stopped dating.

Every relationship is unique in its own way. I am no marriage counselor, but marriages are not just a name change and a piece of paper, it is a gift from God. Never take your marriage for granted. Some are not fortunate enough to experience it. Marriage is work but being with your husband for the rest of your life is worth every minute.

Misery… and it loves company!

Why do we consume so much of our life worrying about what others are doing?  The answer to this: We are HUMANS! People are so caught up in other’s lives because of one simple reason, misery. Sadly, misery loves company. Some live their lives vicariously by being a burden or bringing someone else down. They usually do this with the intent to build their own self up. But newsflash, it deepens the issue and makes the situation worse. We (yes, including me) are all guilty. Whether we want to be or not, we are guilty. We stay concerned with who is dating who, who said this, who wore this, who did this or that, but why? Why does it matter? Misery and it loves company.

We all want perfect lives. We want the best cars, houses, clothes, husbands, children, and the list goes on, but if we aren’t truly happy with whom we are, none of these “things “will satisfy us. Have you ever stopped and wondered who you really are? Stop right now and ask yourself, “Who am I”? Not your name or age, but deep down in your heart and soul, who are you? The answer to this question can be very difficult if you are stuck in the “gray area” of life. In order to be truly happy and content in your life, you have to understand and accept who you truly are.

You ask, “How do I figure out who I am”? It took me twenty five years to figure out who I am, and some days I still am not sure. Over the past few years I have endured what we as Christians call “trials.” Trials are classified as, “hardships” or”sufferings”, which Christians endure. Trust me; I have had my fair share. I have endured death, divorce, breakups, betray, and family conflict. Many times I wanted to give up, but right before hitting rock bottom, God took my hand and lead me down a different path. None of us are perfect, but changing my life is how I figured out who I am. I am a woman of God, a wife, strong, faithful, diligent, but most of all content.

Misery can physically, mentally and emotionally tear you down. Most misery comes from a “trial” or “hardship” we don’t know how to face. But the reason we can’t control these all comes down to confusion about who we are or what we believe. We can’t control the weather, other people’s relationships, family turning their back on you, or the economy crashing. However, we can control how we react. When you have a miserable person in your life don’t confront them, pray for them. Don’t accompany the source that breaks down most relationships and people.

Miserable people love others as company. The reason for this has to do with making their self feel better. They attack, lash out, are hateful, and disrespectful because it helps them release anger and frustration. In cases such as these, wash your hands clean of them. We have enough negativity in the world; ISIS, war, divorce, murder, suicide, we don’t need to feed any more of it.

Each and every one of us is given twenty four hours. Twenty-four. That’s not a lot.  Why would any of us want to spend it being miserable or being company to someone else’s misery? Choose to live fully the twenty- four hours you are given. Because the only thing in life that will run out, is time.


The Lord is king! He is robed in majesty. Indeed, the Lord is robed in majesty and armed with strength. The world stands firm and cannot be shaken. Psalm 93:1.