You’re Difficult

Have you often wondered why some people make you feel hard to love? Ever felt that no matter how nice you are or what you do for certain people it is never good enough? Or my personal favorite, “I’ve tried everything to make you happy and it is not enough!” Do not let people lead you to believe you are hard to love…. Because that is never the case. Choose people who choose you. Time and time again once you realize who your people are, suddenly all the “hard to love” scenarios disappear.

In my thirty-one years on this earth, I have encountered many relationships. But there are a few that stand out the most when it comes to my self-worth.  I have personally been told I ask and expect too much. But now looking back I realize I was never asking too much; I was just asking the wrong people. Some people will always make you feel like you are not good enough or always make you feel like everything is your fault… those are not your people.

Some of my best friendships are with people who push me daily to be better. These friends also teach me to ask for more and expect the absolute best out of everyone. They never make me feel hard to love and are not afraid to fight a battle with me. I have lost a lot of friendships but looking back I realize God was removing those people from my life for a better friendship to develop.

We are all bad in someone’s story. No one ever wants to admit when they are wrong or accept the responsibility for hurting someone else. But remember, just because you are bad in their story does not mean everyone believes them. Remain faithful to who you are and never waiver because of someone else’s opinion.

You are exactly where you need to be. Stay devoted and trust God is working to bring what you need most in your life. Let that friend go that makes you feel not good enough or that family member who says you are hard to love. Life is so much better when you find your circle and they love you regardless of your faults and failures.

You will never really see how toxic someone is until you breathe fresher air.

“They did not leave your life. I moved them.” – God

Advice from Granddaddy

“Remember, marriage is 50/50. “The one piece of advice Nick and I heard repeatedly before we got married. But I distinctly remember one very important man in my life changing my view on marriage with one simple conversation. 

“Lacie Poo, life is full of ups and downs, disappointments, loss, heartaches, failures, successes, love, and life. We all fail, and we all rise but at the end of the day, you and Nick are one. When he fails, you will be his success. When you’re down, he will lift you up. When there is death, each of you will give the other life. Marriage has never been 50/50…. it’s 100/100. Today you may be able to give 75% and Nick only 25% but tomorrow you may be only able to give 10% and you’ll need his 90%.  If you both only focus on marriage being 50/50 you will miss out on a lot of love and successes as a married couple. If you love God first, give 100%, and choose each other over and over again…. your marriage won’t fail.” – Granddaddy, Joe Reaves 6-27-2014, Rehearsal Dinner

Wow! How true were my Granddaddy’s words? I never realized how right he was until the very next year. Infertility hit us like a ton of bricks and for months I barely gave one percent. I was shattered and heartbroken with my diagnoses, but over and over again Nick picked me back up and gave 99% when I only had one. 

How different would marriages be if both the husband and wife agreed to this concept? If we ALL realize that men need to be treated like kings just like women expect to be treated like queens. 

In 2019 alone, 50% of marriages ended in divorce. Could this be because God is not the head of every household? Could this be because the wife demands to be respected but does not offer the same to her husband or vice versa? Is it because the wife and/or husband is only giving 50% instead of 100%? The answers are unknown but I bet if we get back to the basic and stop worrying so much about our outward appearance and trying to “keep up with The Joneses” we could focus more on the true fundamentals of a solid foundation to make any marriage successful. 

My Granddaddy’s advice has stuck with me for 6 years. Is marriage easy? NO! Is our marriage perfect? Absolutely not…but it’s perfect to us. Yes, we have disagreements and failures. But we choose each other over and over again, never degrade one another, and are never to prideful to acknowledge when we are wrong.  God set the firm foundation for our marriage to grow and every day we honor Him by doing our best to give 100%. 

“Your marriage is powerful in the Lord because two are better than one. You can lift each other up when one feels weak. “-Ecclesiastes 4:10

Sam, my brown friend

The words out of my two-year-old son’s mouth. To which all the other moms in the room turned to see how I was going to handle this “situation”. I could tell some were annoyed with the statement my child made, however there is a reason my child said what he did.

For two and a half years I have preached to Atticus that we should love everyone regardless of their background or the color of their skin. He has been taught that just because someone looks different than us or talks different, does not mean we should treat them any different. I know I know; I am a bad mom for teaching my child this…. I get it. I am horrible for wanting my child to love without walls or stereotypes. But here is a little insight, I will continue to be a “bad mom” if it means my child does not leave someone out or chooses to be friends with kids who look different than he does.

Sam quickly became one of Atticus’ favorite friends. We talk about him quite a bit. Atticus tells me he wishes he could see him more and that Sam is the best. I have learned living life through a two-year old’s eyes is one of the purest ways to live life. There is no hate or bitterness in his sweet little heart. The love he has for everyone he meets makes me so proud to be his mom.

The world we live in is full of hate and stereotypes. We are all held to certain standards of who we can and cannot be friends with or associate with. Why? When did we become so judgmental? Now I will be the first to say I have been guilty of being judgmental from time to time. I am human but teaching my children not to be this way has made my perspective of others and life change drastically.

Changing the way, I view life and others has been a constant lesson. Instead of letting society decide how I raise my kids or the way my children act, I have decided to be the example of how I want my children to act. I am giving daily reminders of how one person can be the change in any situation. Children learn more from what we do than what we say, so we should use this to our advantage.

So to the moms who were “disappointed” by the way my child addressed Sam… this one is for you.

“The greatest legacy one can pass on to one’s children and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one’s life, but rather a legacy of character and faith.”  — Billy Graham, Evangelist

Atticus & Sam

Kids are the dancing Joy of life

Two years have come and gone. Just like that my first baby is a toddler. Atticus broke the mold when he was born. He has taught me so much. Shown me a love I have never known, how to think outside of the box, but most of all to slow down.

When Atticus was born, I remember taking in every little detail of his features. His hands, feet, eyes, nose, all of it. I told myself that day to not take one moment for granted because soon I would look back and miss that very moment. How true are those words today? I love the phase Atticus is in right now but oh how I miss his baby days.

Ander is growing just as fast. For some reason the second one grows a lot quicker than the first. I sat in the hospital and inspected the same features on Ander but did not realize I would blink, and he would be two months just like that.

Time is inevitable. It waits for nothing or no one. We are all so busy and get caught up with life and our everyday routines. We quickly forget to take in every moment and slow down to enjoy the phase we are in. I know firsthand that is it so easy to miss the beauty in a moment because I am looking for the next thing that must be done or the next load of laundry that must be folded.

Atticus knocked me of my tracks this week when he said “Mommy, lay with me and hold my hand.” Normally, he likes to have someone lay with him while he drifts. But most of the time he curls up and falls fast asleep, but this day he wanted me to stop what I was doing to give him my undivided attention.

This moment is proof that I move too fast. That I am missing precious moments with my boys that I will never get back. He showed me that he and Ander still want my attention and need those extra moments of love. When I question if I am a good mom or if the house is in order, I will remember this day and remind myself that the laundry can wait… but my boys cannot.

When life gives you too much to handle or you are so caught up in everyday tasks. Remember to slow down and enjoy every second because they so quickly become a memory and one day you will look back and wish you would have paid more attention to the little things.

Because in the end… that is all that really matters.

“Slow down the pace so you catch all the beautiful details.” – Unknown

Four Quarters

The older I get the more I realize how important your “circle” is. As a woman, it is hard to find other women who truly lift you up and root for you no matter what. I never understood the saying ” it is better to have four quarters than 100 pennies… until recently.

Unfortunately, I have learned the hard way, not everyone who is in my boat is rowing the same way. I have found some of them are pouring in water instead of rowing. What I mean is just because someone claims they are your friend or supports you, is not always the case. Being a woman is hard. We are constantly having to keep up with what society thinks we should look like, what we should eat, how we should raise our kids, and the list goes on. But we do not need friends who are not really rooting for us to be added to the stress society has already placed upon us.

When I moved to Michigan, I was terrified of having to meet new friends… especially after I had kids. Mom friends are scary, and I mean this in the sincerest way. Finding moms who think like you or understand that sometimes life is a three-ring circus, is hard! I had this preconceived notion that all moms were the same and I did not fit into that group or I was not good enough. But thankfully, that was proven wrong.

A prime example happened a few weekends ago. I had to attend a wedding with Nick. I love weddings and seeing the groom’s face when the bride walks down the aisle, however, this wedding was different. I did not know one person (except the bride and groom.) That is all fine and good right? Except Nick was in the wedding and I had to be a guest alone. Little did I know five strangers would become friends in a quick amount of time.

These five women made me feel like I had known them for years. Even when they told stories I felt I was a part, even though I was not. They proved that it is okay to have faults and not have it all together. I realized sitting at the table, sharing a bite of every doughnut offered, that these women were the epitome of class.

Thankfully, I decided to attend the wedding and overcome the anxiety of walking in alone. Because if I would not have attended… I would not have met these gems.

Cheers to Michael Jackson, dancing to “Shout”, and pretending we were in high school again. You ladies are the real MVPs.

” A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.”- Proverbs 27:9

Hair-Bows and Prayer

Being a mom is one of life’s greatest blessings. Challenging? Yes. Tiring? Yes. Rewarding? Absolutely. Everyday a new obstacle is faced and challenges presented. However, the constant rewards and love make everything worth it. I always dreamed of having children but never realized I would potentially be raising two beautiful boys. I envisioned myself being a mother but did not fully understand what that title truly meant…. until now.

Raising children is a constant battle. A battle between wanting them to stay little but wanting to see who they become. Wanting to be their best friend and biggest supporter but also to teach them discipline and respect. Every situation and circumstance creates an opportunity to teach and mold them to the adults we want them to be.

When Atticus was born, I quickly realized every decision I made, every reaction, and the way I spoke became extremely important. I now had a little one watching my every move. With this, the way I handled myself changed. The way I spoke became more understanding, reactions became more subtle, and decisions became well thought out. This changed even more when Ander was born.

I am responsible for raising these two precious boys. It is my responsibility to teach them about Christ, that people make mistakes [and that’s ok], to walk away from people or situations that hurt them, and to love like there is no tomorrow. But one of the biggest responsibilities is to raise and teach them how to love and respect their future wives. One day they will leave home and be husbands to two women that God has chosen for them. Even though they are little, I pray everyday for their future wives.

Two hair-bows are in picture frames that I look at daily to remind me to pray. These two hair- bows remind me to pray for the women God will send to love my boys. Specifically I pray for them to be women of faith, strong in who they are, but mostly to love and respect Atticus and Ander as I do. Do I think they will have trials? You bet. But I pray God has chosen two women who will stand by their sides regardless of the circumstances that may arise.

Oh how I long for Atticus and Ander to stay little and innocent forever. But oh how I look forward to seeing the strong, handsome, christian men they become. Because I know without a shadow of a doubt [regardless of the trials]… they will always make momma and daddy proud.

Grandma Elaine

Sixteen years. That’s all I had. Sixteen years. That’s also how long you have been in heaven. I never thought there would be a day I would wake up and you not be here.

There are so many things I wanted my Grandma to witness and take part in. I wanted her here for my high school and college graduations, engagement, wedding, and most of all when I had children. I always envisioned what she would be like with my babies and how they would adore her as I did. Never in a million years would I have ever thought I would describe who she was to my kids from a simple picture hanging on the wall.

You know the funny thing about God’s plan is it has a way of hitting you right in the stomach at times. When you miss someone so much and right out of the blue, God reminds you they are still here and watching down on you. My pregnancy and delivery with both Atticus and Ander were times I wanted nothing more than my Grandma to be a part.

One month before Ander was born I received a package in the mail. Two sweet outfits for Ander and a note. As I sat in the kitchen and cried, I thanked God for this simple reminder….she is still with me. My aunt Portia found lace and outfits my Grandma started long before she passed away. Aunt Portia finished the outfits and sent them to me. These are things I will cherish for the rest of my life. Even though she wasn’t here to see my babies born, she will always have a special part in their lives.

We never know when we will wake up and someone we love is gone or receive a phone call that a loved one has passed. Hug your loved ones tight and never go a day without making sure those you hold dear to your heart know how you feel.

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

Nick

July 8,2013, Nick walked into my life. From the very moment I laid eyes on him, I knew he would be different. Little did I know one plane ride would change the rest of my life. He was tall, dark, handsome, and had a smile that would make your knees weak. The almost too good to be true, movie screen type of man. I never wanted that plane to land or that day to come to an end because I feared I would never see him again. Little did I know; one slice of pizza and a first-class upgrade would change my life forever.

The past five years have been so precious to me. Nick and I have shared many highs and many lows. We have bought two homes, lived in two states, battled infertility, have two miracle babies {Atticus & Ander}, among many other memories. But one thing people ask all the time is “how did you risk it all for someone so far away?” That question is easy…. faith. We trusted God’s plan for our lives, and we thank Him every day for it.

Nick is one of the nicest, genuine, most witty men you could ever meet. He loves with everything he has, would give the shirt off his back, and has been the biggest blessing in my life. The love he shows every day for Atticus, Ander, and I is unmeasured. Everyday hasn’t been perfect, but everyday has been worth it.

So today as we celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary, I am reminded how thankful I am that God placed him on this earth 33 years ago. When God created Nick, He thought of me. What an amazing thing to think about. God already knew our destiny and that our paths would cross. But little did we know just how much our lives would change because of God’s sovereign plan.

Nick, thank you for the past five years. Thank you for being the best father to our children. For simply reminding me of all the little things in life. Thank you for keeping me grounded and picking me up when I am down. But most of all thank you for loving me.

Happy Anniverary, Babe! Here’s to many more.

To the girl who thinks she isn’t enough, the boy who just lost his high school sweetheart, the woman who wonders how long she must wait, or the man who thinks he’ll never find love: Don’t give up. Keep believing in God and trust His plan. It may take days, weeks, months, or even years but the wait will be worth it. When you finally find your person, all the doubt and heartache will go away, and you too will thank God for your journey.

“It’s not just about tying the knot, it’s about keeping the knot tight.”- Unknown

Dear Thirty…

For years people would tell me how much they dreaded turning thirty. There was so much negative energy with this milestone birthday that I actually started to tell myself how bad it was going to be. The closer it got I realized, thirty, it is just another number. Yes, I would be a year older and would leave my twenties, but why not make this a positive experience instead of a dreaded one.

The months leading up to my birthday, plans were being made and the invitation list was being created . It was then I realized what really mattered in life and a huge party was not on that list. Instead, I wanted to be surrounded by my best friends and family who support me, lift me up, and who I share my highest of highs and lowest of lows. My best friend offered to have the party at her house and so the planning began. The weekend started with family flying in from Michigan and friends driving from north Atlanta all to be with me on this milestone birthday. We sat around and laughed at the memories we all shared and in that moment I realized how thankful I was for these people. The ones I could always turn to and depend on. To my surprise a video was also created with stories and memories from my family and friends who couldn’t be there. I was overwhelmed with emotions and gratitude because I didn’t deserve any of this.

Little did any of them know ( until 4 weeks later), I was expecting my second child. So not only was I celebrating turning thirty, I was also “secretly” celebrating another milestone that was never supposed to happen. I was pregnant again… naturally. Some thing doctors told me would never happen. But there I was pregnant for the second time without any help… except the fact God had a bigger plan. I would catch myself emotional and teary eyed every time I would think about all the blessing that kept presenting themselves during that weekend.

Life can be so overwhelming at times. We all go through storms thinking we will never see the rainbow after. But in reality, God always has a plan, His timing is always perfect, and faith is a rock we should all lean on. My faith has been tested many times but turning thirty showed me just how much God can bless us if we just trust and have faith in Him. Will the road always be pretty? No! There are times I find myself drowning and wondering how to pick up and move on. But God has never failed me and His divine plan has always proven He always keeps His promises and never leads us astray.

“What you are “looking” for and what God has planned to give to you could be two completely different things. Don’t become lost on your journey and loose what He may have already placed right in front of you.”- Unknown

Let’s Talk Teething

 As a mother of a seven month old, I understand the words teething and no sleep. I also understand how they correlate. Many people have asked me what I do for Atticus when it comes to help while teething. Below I have outlined five ways to help a teething infant.

  1. Infant Tylenol. I know. I know. OMG! I give my child medicine. Yes I am not one of those typical millennial moms who refuses to give their child anything other than organic items. After all who doesn’t like a full night of rest? As always contact your pediatrician when it comes to usage and dosage.
  2. Baby Banana Teething Toothbrush. Seriously! Why didn’t I think of something like this? This teether is perfect for infants during teething. The white neck is ribbed which is great when Atticus is chewing and it helps with his itchy gums. The handles are also perfect for his little baby hands and teaches him how to hold onto things.
  3. Sophie the Giraffe.We do not leave home without Soph. Atticus loves her. He chews on the legs for hours. This teether is great for those days when your infant needs something to bite on to get relief. Sophie has also become Atticus’ snuggly buddy while sleeping in the car.
  4. Teething Necklace. These are amazing and so cute. Instead of having your little one chew on your fingers (yuck) or your clothes, this is a great alternative. These are also great for gifts to a mom-to-be.
  5. Snuggles. How many moms can really say they get too many snuggles? None! I have found when Atticus is teething he will cling to me more. He likes to lay his head on my shoulder and snuggle. Bring all the snuggles if it helps my baby boy. Skin to skin contact has been proven to calm an upset baby. If your little one is having a hard time due to teething, try skin to skin and see if it will help soothe your baby.